The Boys and Me

Somedays are hard

nancystanton — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 06:42:49 +0000

Nobody tells you how hard marriage can/will be. When you tell people you’re getting married they smile, hug you, congratulate you and say “you will be so happy together!”. In reality, they should do the previous and also tell you what it’s really going to be like. The truth is, somedays are harder than others. Somedays, you will be happy and in love. Somedays, you still love the person, but you wish they’d simply leave you alone for awhile.
Now I should clarify and say I have a pretty great marriage and a pretty great husband. We have similar interests and both of us adore our boys. We talk most things through, even the tough stuff, and try to work through it all. But that is not to say that we don’t disagree, argue or have a “tif” sometimes. It also goes without saying that somedays the cynical side of my husband drives me crazy and his cocky comments do hurt my feelings on occasion. The incredible intellect my husband has is astounding, but somedays I want him to “dumb it down” a little, which he says he won’t do, so I am left to secretly roll my eyes at the large words he uses to describe simple things.
In turn, I know there are days where my “carefree” attitude drives him crazy and my obliviousness for organization makes him want to strangle me. He loves my cooking, but can’t stand the mess I make while doing it and he hates how I turn into a 13 year-old girl and pout when I’m mad.
These things make marriage hard, but it’s also what makes it real, as well. It’s having bad days that make the good ones even better. I’m sure we will continue to drive each other crazy and have our occasional arguments, but at the end of the day there is no one else we’d rather be with. And that my friends is what real marriage is all about!

If I could write a letter to me…

nancystanton — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 04:14:03 +0000

I am sure many people have heard the song by Brad Paisley “Letter to Me”. It’s about the adult version of a man, Brad perhaps, writing to the high school version of himself. Of course you always think, “Oh if I knew then, what I know now…” Well today I had one of those experiences and wished I could send a letter to the twenty-something Nancy.

While grocery shopping with my husband and two boys this afternoon, I spotted a few young women. They were not doing anything out of the ordinary, but getting a few supplies for whatever the evening may hold for them. I noticed they were dressed in fun shoes and trendy clothes and their faces were neatly painted. This made me smile and sigh. Ah, the “good old days”. The days where my friends and I would go out and sip martini’s or margaritas, dance our butts off, and not get home until well past midnight. We had a lot of fun, nothing too obscene, but a lot of good memories were made.

At home, as I unpacked our groceries, I started thinking about what I would say to my younger self and what my younger self might say to me now. First off, I’m fairly positive my twenty-three year old body would be pissed off that I am no longer as super fit as I used to be. Ten years ago, I would work out two hours a day, seven days a week, granted I was single, living at home, and fairly miserable, but I looked good! Now, the mother of two young boys, I’m lucky if I work out two hours a week, but I’m married to my best friend and I’m happy. While I know the younger me would be ticked at my BMI, I would like to tell her to relax and to eat a piece of cake. Life is just a little too short to be spent on a treadmill or an elliptical machine for umpteen hours a day.

The second thing I thought about was how much fun I used to have getting ready, whether it be to go out, to go to work, to the store, where ever. The time spent on hair, make-up, and clothing … it was glorious. I had to laugh at how different my beauty routine is now. A quick shower, the basic makeup, and usually an air-dried hair style all paired up with my favorite pair of jeans and my comfy tennis shoes. Now given the opportunity, I will dilly dally in the bathroom and play with my hair and do a little more detailed make up, but generally it’s a bare bones operation. If I could, I would tell my younger self to enjoy the hours spent at my vanity, enjoy the peaceful bliss of the radio and blow dryer blaring, and the mountains of make up strewn about, because all too soon it will be over and spending time on yourself will be a thing of the past.

Thirdly, I thought of the shoes. Oh, those uncomfortable, sexy shoes. Back than a good pair of heels went with everything. Now, a cute pair of flats or a comfortable pair of tennis shoes is all you will most likely find me in. I realize they may not be as attractive or as sexy, but I think even the younger me could appreciate this. Quite frankly, I was never very graceful in anything above a 1 inch heel anyway!

The last thing I would like to say to my younger self is this. Enjoy your time. I realize that growing up and moving on to the next step was what everyone was striving for back than, but take a few breaths and just stop. The pieces will fall into place and you will look back and smile. You will wake up one day and be married to a wonderful man, with two young boys, and be a different kind of happy than you were in your early twenties. Enjoy your martini’s with your girlfriends, dance a little longer, and stay out until dawn once or twice. The older you will appreciate the memories…

From the office to the salon and now home

nancystanton — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 19:37:41 +0000

As a child I wanted to be two things: the first was a teacher and the second was a business woman. I toyed with both ideas for as long as I could remember. Business eventually won out, a degree in Human Resources more specifically. I have always been great with people, charismatic is a word my husband would use to describe me. I thought Human Resources was a good fit. I could train employees, help them deal with management, make a work place better, etc. Granted, I didn’t take into account the amount of payroll and benefit issues I would have to deal with through the years, but in college HR seemed like a great idea. Plus, I would most likely be able to wear a pin-striped suit with matching pumps and handbag, like my idols Murphy Brown and the ladies from Designing Women (a child of the 80′s I am). After 5 or 6 years of being in Human Resources in one form or another, I took a step back. I was not enjoying life or anything my career was offering me. I rarely left work feeling accomplished or satisfied and to make matters worse, I hated wearing business attire and heels everyday. (The matching purses, however, I did enjoy) So I decided to make a career change, with my husbands support. But change to what?

Cosmetology was the answer. I had always enjoyed, no, LOVED makeup and beauty products of all kinds. I was the one that did my friends hair and makeup for special occasions and I also was the one that would cut and color your hair from my dorm room in college. Albeit was with drug store brand hair color and craft shears I had lying around, but it was fun for all! So I went back to cosmetology school at the age of 26 and I loved it. I suddenly felt creative for the first time in my life. I will never forget the day we learned to actually cut hair. It was if the mother-ship was calling me home. The shears were just an extension of my hand, gliding thru my client’s hair with ease, creating such wonderful designs. Ah, I loved it and still do. If you are not in the hair field, the passion hair dressers have for their career may seem odd, but almost all of us have a deep passion for what we do. The connection you form with your clients is also pretty amazing. Not many other careers allow you to get that close to someone, enticing them to tell their deepest secrets, problems or joys. The things my clients have told me thru the years is fairly shocking and book worthy. I can honestly say I loved this career choice and almost always enjoyed every day I went to work.

Than came Nolan. We had tried to have children for several years and finally we were blessed with a beautiful, vivacious baby boy. The love I felt the moment he came into the world was indescribable. I enjoyed every moment of my 9 week maternity leave with him and bawled like a baby when I went back to work. After several weeks and months, I adjusted to being away from him and began loving my career again. Enter Luke. I took three months off after I had Luke and I think I enjoyed those three months more than I ever thought I could. I was surrounded everyday with my boys, my lively two-year old and my sweet baby, could life be any better? I fell in love with being at home and all that involved (okay maybe not the cleaning, but I’m trying to like the cleaning more … really I am.) When I went back to work it felt different from before. I still liked what I did, but my heart was heavier and I had a pull to be at home like never before. Opportunity knocked a month after going back. My amazing sitter was too overwhelmed with all of the kids she was watching and needed us to find someone else to watch the boys. Instant panic set in for me. How was I going to find someone to watch my kids the way she did? How could I afford a daycare center?

This is when my husband suggested I stay home. At first I didn’t think I could do it. I mean, I had loved it on maternity leave, but could I do it full-time? Well after analyzing numerous spreadsheets my husband had created, I was left with a decision to make: find a sitter and hope s/he could care for my children as well as the previous one, pay 3 times what we were at a daycare center, or stay home and raise our boys how we wanted them to be raised. I know it seems like it would have been an easy choice, but it wasn’t and I didn’t have a lot of time to dilly daly. I worried I was going to lose part of myself or go a little crazy with out adult contact, but I loved my boys and had wanted to be home. What to do, what to do? Than Luke smiled at me one morning before work and that smile did it. It was as if he said, “Mom I’m only little for a short time and I want to spend as much time with you as I can. Please stay home with me.” Bam … decision made. So that day, a week and a half ago, I went in and put my notice in at a job I loved. Once I did that, a weight lifted off my shoulders and I knew I had made the right choice.

Good luck boys, Momma’s coming home and home is where I shall stay … well for now. There’s no telling what my next career choice will be. But for right now, stay at home mom is the career for me.

Veteran’s Day

nancystanton — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 14:28:07 +0000

Happy Veteran’s Day to our nation’s protectors. Whether it be Army, Navy, Marines, or the Air Force you have given more to this country than most of us ever will. Most of us will never give a portion of time up for this country and the freedom we so proudly claim as ours. Today we need to stop and recognize these men and women. Today we need to say “Thank You”. So Thank You to all the brave men and women out the, including my husband Kelly. Thank You for doing a job, I do not have the courage to do. Thank you for putting your life on the line and risking it all, so me and my children can sleep easier at night. Even if you have never seen a day of combat or war, you have still done a far greater service to this country than most of us ever will. So hold your head up high and know that this country appreciates your service. You are truly our nation’s heroes.

Hello world!

nancystanton — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 17:40:58 +0000

Hello World!

To blog or not to blog? That is the question! This is my first post on my very first blog! My husband asked me what my blog will be about, my answer is “who knows!”. So stay tuned to see what comes of this new adventure of mine…

Nancy